Funk

So I'm in a funk...

Just got out of a 4.5 month "relationship" - I've never really been in one and I wasn't sure about diving into this one but I did. And it was amazing, in the beginning. And then it got hard. And then it was really hard. And then it was just awful and I was constantly unhappy... and then I did something stupid...

So then we break up, really amazing break-up. Decided to stay friends and see where life lands us in January when he graduates. Sounds great right? It sucks. It's so hard... I see him and I still think boyfriend. Then when I look for comfort in the fact that maybe he misses me too, he tells me "a lil, but we should stay friends cuz I'm so busy"...

It's over, I'm free, I can date and meet people. I'm happy, but I'm dying inside, pretty much all the time. Why doesn't he miss me? I'm a hell of a catch. I was soooo loving to him, and patient, and understanding. WTF is all I can think.

Now I'm just angry which ain't healthy either. But it helps with the pain. Except when I think of being the rebound. I'm in no rush to get into another relationship cuz this breaking up stuff is hard to do. But I miss being with someone. I'm lonely, but I don't want to go back.

I need someone who makes time for me.
I need someone who asks about my dad.
I need someone who can't get enough of me.
I need someone who won't make me feel inconvenient.
Someone who makes me feel like the only woman in the room.
Someone who is honest with me.
Someone who believes in Jesus and is actively pursuing it.
Someone who thinks the world of me.
Someone who can make me laugh.
Someone who thinks I'm funny (cuz I think I am haha)


And I want to find that person and be the same for them... maybe in time...

Eh, I'm done writing. I'm feeling a little better. Hope this post ain't a bore ;)